A Kuwaiti Wedding, Part 2

Last April, I wrote a post called  A Kuwaiti Wedding, Part 1, which I intended to follow with a Part 2, Part 3, etc. Well, it's been a whole year, and now having gone to another Kuwaiti wedding, I thought I just might finish.

In Part 1, I described the setting, the general concept behind the gathering, and who goes there. In this installment, I'll finish describing the rest of the proceedings from the first wedding, and I hope to compare the two Kuwaiti weddings and briefly describe the second one that I've attended in a Part 3.

From the wedding, April 2011:
Some time after 10:15 or 10:30pm, the bride made her first grand entrance, starting at the end of the ballroom behind a curtain with a spot light shining on it. She came out in a traditional green-colored Kuwaiti wedding dress, with a gold, crown-type covering on her head and walked slowly to the center of the dancing aisle to sit on a stool that was waiting for her. At this point, the dancing had temporarily ceased for the bride's entrance, so most people were sitting or standing to the side. Her walk to the center of the room took approximately 10 minutes- not that the room was that long, but it's a very drawn out, stately process.

Once the bride was sitting, her close family members all held the edge of an ornately decorated green scarf/blanket to wave it over her, in a modern version of the traditional Kuwaiti "jalwa" festivity. (The closest activity that I can compare this to is from elementary PE classes, when all of the students stand at the edge of  "parachute" and move it up and down, trying to bounce foam balls off of it.) After they recited some things and sang (all of this in Arabic), they gathered the blanket and the bride moved to a type of loveseat/divan on a stage at the front of the room, while her close family danced for her. After about 20 minutes, the bride left the room, and the general party and dancing resumed.

After another hour, say 12am, the bride came back to make another nearly royal entrance, this time in a white, western-style wedding gown. Again, her walk to the front was long and stately, pausing for a thousand pictures by the professional photographers along the way (no exaggeration). After the bride was seated on the stage again, her close family and friends danced for her, then the rest of the guests joined in, and people started going up to take pictures with her. Soon after, there was an announcement indicating that after the following song was played, the men would be entering the ballroom. In an instant, all of the women in the room who "cover" (wear the abaya and/or hijab) wrapped themselves in their covering garments. It was like a sea of black washed over the room, the bright colors and sequence of dresses no longer to be seen. Even the women who do not "cover" often put on some kind of jacket or shawl out of respect.

The photo on the left is of me before the first wedding, April 2011. The picture of a traditional  "bisht" was taken this spring at the Sadu House, Kuwait City.
 
At approx. 12:30am, the doors at the end of the room were again opened and the groom, bride's father, and groom's father entered in their best dishdashas and bishts. (The clothing made and worn for weddings is elaborate and expensive, and all of the men wear their best. The bisht robe can be variations of black or brown, depending on the quality and materials used to make them.) Following them was a small group of trusted friends of the groom, brothers (if any), and other close cousins they chose to include. Accompanying the men was a small group of singers and drummers from the live wedding band.

taken at the second wedding on Thursday night

The men did not take nearly as long as the bride to enter, walking straight up to the stage. As the three most important greeted the bride, they kissed her and each other on the forehead as a sign of respect, and then the bride was presented to the groom. (At this point, the bride and groom are already legally married via signing marriage documents, so this is permitted). In turn, the other men went up, shook the groom's hand and kissed him on the cheek as a sign of care and respect, and left the room. After all the men but the most important were gone, the musicians did an about-face, and left the room to re-join the rest of the band. Then, the mothers and other family members went up to be photographed with the couple.



*side note: The musicians at a wedding are stationed in an adjoining room throughout the whole evening and festivities, because they are traditionally all men. The musicians are mic-ed and play live for all of the dancing. A woman similar to a wedding coordinator communicates with another man coordinator in the room with the band via walkie-talkie, to tell him which songs the band should play, based on the time and stage of the evening and at the requests of the bride's mother.

After another 20 minutes, a gigantic cake was wheeled in for the bride and groom to ceremoniously cut. The groom escorted the bride to the back of the room, which was next to the dining room where the dinner buffet was to be held. The guests followed, and the couple cut the cake with a traditional saber, then left the room to spend time alone together. At this point, the guests were invited to eat or continue to dance as they liked, because no men were left in the ballroom. This might have carried on for another hour or so.

This is the kind of wedding cakes that you see in Kuwait, though this was not the actual cake.

photo borrowed from yaaluwa.com- Omar Addihaoui, pastry chef in Kuwait

There you have it. That's my best attempt at including the most important details of a more traditional Kuwaiti wedding. In Part 3, I'll give an extremely brief explanation of what the men do (because there really isn't much to tell) and write some tidbits about the most recent wedding I went to on Thursday night, as well as include some more pictures. I know I said cameras weren't allowed, but my friend took some photos while the men were there, since all of the women were modestly covered. This was the best we could do with an iPhone!

Valentine's Baby

None other than the spectacular Chris Freeman is a Valentine's Day baby. Ok, there probably are some other people that have the same birthday, but how many that you know? I tried to keep it low-key the other night since it was a work night, but we still wanted to do something out of the usual. Since it's Chris' birthday, I like to do the planning for this holiday, but he was sweet enough to pick up something I've grown to love- dried fruits.

First, we went to a piano recital that was held at one of the local library/concert halls. We left with what I thought was enough time to get there, but I didn't take into account the extra traffic for Kuwait's National Day month-long visitors. (In general, traffic during the entire month of February is awful, especially around dinnertime.) The concert started at 7pm, but we didn't arrive until 7:25pm, which is a major no-no for a musician. Chris didn't seem to be terribly affected by it though, so we had a really enjoyable hour listening to some amazing, young Kuwaiti performers who have been preparing for international competition. I found out about the free recital on a website that I follow called The Grapevine Kuwait, which gives notice for a lot of local social events.

After the recital, we drove over to a restaurant called Rangoli, which is at one of the seaside hotels. It usually serves Indian cuisine, but they had a variety of menus for Valentine's Day. We ate. A lot.

There was live music and funny little "love" decorations were worked into the appetizer display, making it a unique evening.

The restaurant is situated under a dry-docked boat, which actually houses another restaurant. Here's one of two Arabic bread ovens that are located near the entrance of the restaurants, serving both. The smell of "khubz" is near heavenly.

"underneath" the boat

We had a really great time on Tuesday evening, but it's nice that having a date isn't out of the ordinary for us. We try to have a "date night" every week, a habit we started early in our marriage at the encouragement of others. It has really allowed us a lot of face-to-face time over the years and respite in the middle of each busy week. We don't always do something formal; sometimes we just go for a walk along the seaside, but Chris has been really good at leading us to block out this time just for each other.

 Happy Birthday, Christopher,

my beloved, my friend.

Thanksgiving #1, 2011

I dare to say...I look like my mom in this picture! Thanks, Hugh.

I said I'd post about our trip to China during the Eid holiday, and I fully intend to, but I've become a little side-tracked. See, there are just too many fun things going on right now that I can't buckle down to write out what happened two weeks ago. While we're back to the full throttle busyness that characterized the first two years of our marriage (we're at 6?!), it's much more enjoyable this time. We're serving and being busy together instead of heading in different directions, which makes things a lot more meaningful and fun; that's how I'll start my official list of "thanks" this year.

We had our first Thanksgiving dinner on Monday night, and since we've already celebrated, I'm sitting here typing as I listen to Christmas carols. Did I ever mention that "O, Holy Night" is my favorite?

I organized a dinner that was originally intended for our Monday night bible study (life group) from church, with a few others that we are connected to from there. Well, in one of my emails I happened to use the phrase "the more, the merrier" and that's exactly what we got. Out of a group of almost 20 people, half invited one extra guest. You do the math. Interestingly enough, there has been a shortage of turkeys in Kuwait this year, the reasons for which I am still investigating. So, I set out on an adventure to get a real turkey, somehow have it cooked/roasted for dinner, and arrange for a location and food for 35.

Success came through one of our friends, who works at the US Embassy here in Kuwait. As she graciously opened her home to everyone, she also acquired a 20lb. Tom from Camp Arifjan, the US Army installation in the South (leave it to the Americans!), and even pulled out a few Chardonnays, Rieslings, and Pinot Grigios to go with it. It was a wonderful night of fun and fellowship.

We have a few more Thanksgiving invitations, two of which I think we'll accept. One is tomorrow night, the beginning of our weekend here in Kuwait, and the other is Friday afternoon. I've been alerted that one or both of these parties has also acquired a turkey, so I will definitely have my fill. I've requested for my mom to bake ham for Christmas.

Speaking of Mom and ham, did I mention that I'll be traveling to the States for the Christmas season? I'll be around for about two weeks, arriving shortly after we finish the school term and heading back to Kuwait on New Year's Eve. I hope to see a few familiar faces while I'm there, but I'll probably spend most of my time tying up loose ends with our newly remodeled house and chasing around my adorable niece and nephew.

A Kuwaiti Wedding, Part 1

Last Friday, I had the opportunity to go to my first Kuwaiti wedding. One of my student's aunts was getting married, and her mom invited me to go. Now, nothing about the Kuwaiti wedding party resembles a western wedding ceremony and reception, except for the fact that there is food, music, and a bride in a wedding dress.

First, I had to go buy a ball gown/cocktail dress/party dress. I opted for one somewhat quickly, because I knew that nothing I bought would be even close to the outlandish/lavish designs that the Kuwaiti women would be wearing. Imagine the richest people in the world each having their own designer dress specially made for this occasion...so, I found a decent black dress at Debenham's that looked like this one, and paired it with a black shrug, black heels, and a silver and black clutch purse. You can't go wrong with black here.

Next, I drove to the city center to the Marriott Courtyard complex, which holds the Al Rayya shopping center and the Al Rayya ballroom. The wedding "started" at 8:30pm, I arrived around 9:15pm, and a lot more people arrived after I did. When I got to the front door, there was a giant Arab doorman (read: bouncer) that asked for my invitation. When I said I didn't have one, he said, "You are Stephanie." I was like, "Uh. Yes," thinking, I sure hope that's ok. He told me to go in, so I walked through this elegant set of curtains into an extremely, ornately decorated foyer and the entrance to the ballroom. After a second's thought, I walked quickly to the bathroom to check out how under-dressed I really was. When I decided it was ok, I ventured out to find Latifa (my student's mom) and see what to do.

Then, after about an hour of Arabic music and servers coming around with gourmet chocolates, Arabic tea and coffee, and bite-size desserts, most of the guests had arrived and started dancing. Mind you, all of the guests at this party were women, and the "dance floor" really was a runway of white carpet stretching around 1/2 a football field, where the women do a simple dance that is more like walking along a runway. And yes, it did look like a runway, because the rest of the guests were seated on white leather bench-type sofas on both sides and facing the runway for easy watching of the "dance floor."

Sound complicated yet? I'm doing my best to describe all this because there are no cameras allowed! Besides the official, professional photographer, no women take their cameras because everyone is generally covered in extremely modest clothing or an abaya (loose dress) and wearing a hijab (head scarf). At weddings, the women are free to wear whatever they please because there are only other women in attendance (including the servers, photographer, videographers, etc.). Here are a FEW of the types of dresses that I saw:

It was a little overwhelming at first, but once I got to know some people, I started to have a goof time. And, that was before the bride even came around 10:15pm.

(to be continued...)

Date Night Dinner

prepared by yours truly.

5 years

On December 18th, Chris and I marked our 5th wedding anniversary. Where has the time gone? I guess it goes fast, since we couldn't be happier.

"...I knelt before God, and praised and thanked him, with happy tears, for His great mercy in giving me the love of so good a man. If I had known, then, how good he was, and how great he would become, I would have been overwhelmed..."
- Susannah Spurgeon, about her husband, Charles

At last

During the week of Gabe and Emily's wedding, Chris and I didn't get to see much of each other because of the guy/girl time and doing preparative tasks during the day. I guess we were excited to spend some time on the dance floor, which was great because Chris prefers not to dance. He's gracious to indulge my whims every now and again...

Photo: courtesy of Dan Kearns